Smoky Jon's

Smoky Jon's. You should visit the website before reading on. Go ahead, I'll wait.

Let's discuss . Number one, what is the first thing you see on the website? Two movies with still shots of an unreasonable amount of meat.  The meat is not arranged in a particularly attractive way. This is Smoky Jon's way of warning you, like a meat scarecrow. If a restaurant with an alter to meat on its front page doesn't appeal to you, then it's probably best you and Smoky Jon's go your separate ways right now.

Okay, you're still reading. Well done, brave meat soldier, you are in for a treat. I know your type. You know Smoky Jon's wants you to be worth of its meat, that Smoky Jon's won't pander to those who care about "how the meat is presented." Instead of focusing on the counting how many slaughtered animals are in these videos, you slow trip towards full meat frenzy. Your mouth has started watering. You can smell the meat and you know how the pork will be soft and juicy after sitting all day in the smoker. Read on, meat-adventurer. You are among friends.

During our carnivorous journey, we sampled a pork shoulder sandwich and a marinated tenderloin steak sandwich. Both came with Smoky Jon's sweet BBQ sauce on the side. This is a test. The BBQ sauce is not optional, though it is on the side. DO NOT EAT THE SANDWICH WITHOUT THE SAUCE. I cannot stress this enough. In fact, to eliminate any misunderstanding, here are the simple steps to optimize your enjoyment of that sandwich:

1. Take the top of the sandwich off
2. Smother all of the sandwich with the BBQ sauce that comes with the sandwich
3. Put the top back on
4. Pick up the sandwich to eat it.
5. DO NOT PUT THE SANDWICH DOWN UNTIL YOU ARE FINISHED. DO NOT STOP TO WIPE ANY OF THE DRIPPED SAUCE OFF ANYTHING.
6. After you are finished with the sandwich, take a shower.

All the sandwiches look good and come with sides. The sides are not as good. We had applesauce (bland and weird consistency), fried biscuits with powdered sugar (okay, not worth the angioplasty I'll have to get), spicy corn (actually, this was quite good), and french fries (they were good, but if you can't make good french fries, you should not cook food). But you didn't come here for the corn. You came for the meat. And you have left satisfied. Perhaps we shall meat again.*

*Don't you roll your eyes at me.

Bunky's Cafe

Let me start with this. The inside of Bunky's Cafe reminds me of what the inside of my head might look like, were it possible to see it. I don't really get the "vibe" they are going for...but I like it. It reminds of someone's living room and yet also a kind of italian bakery and yet ALSO a hippy gift shop. Yah, go ahead and imagine what that implies about me.

Anyway, the decor matches the food in a way. There's some italian, some mediterranean and also some more local, midwestern fare. All of which are good and none of which I am complaining about. We went with friends on a Monday night (apparently the first Monday they were ever open for dinner) and enjoyed pineapple....wrapped in bacon....drizzled with mango sauce as an appetizer. Yah, not sure what area of the world invented that but give them the good seats at the summit next time.

Dinner brought the four of us a variety of dishes- I had butternut squash ravioli with a marinara sauce, which was such a perfect fall meal. It had some toubouli in the middle which I found odd...but kind of a good concept. If the sauce weren't as thin I would say go for it. But even though it was thin, I still say go for it. My fellow diners got everything from lamb, to hummus and pita to okra.

Everyone enjoyed their meal and the friendly, welcoming service. The only odd thing was our waitress kept pushing these city tins. Oh well.

Overall, I would absolutely go back to Bunky's. It's fun, it's funky, the price is reasonable, and the food is high quality. Yatta!

Brocach

Ugh, I'm sorry to say that the first time we've gone out to eat someplace new lately it was a big fat disappointment. We were so hopeful when we saw the new Brocach open on Monroe Street. It seemed like the perfect fit for the block and brought something a little different. There have been a few failed restaurants lately but this had potential.

We decided our inaugural visit should be during brunch; which they had just started the day we went. I love brunch so sure, my expectations were high. But come on. First of all, service was slow and I SWEAR the wait staff was not older than 13. Really. It was a disturbing scene. But since they were so young they should really have moved faster. Anyway, the pre teens were friendly enough but didn't seem to have a firm handle on what was going on. Ok, fine. It's a new restaurant and brunch hasn't been done before, we'll cut them some slack. But they were out of stuff. On the menu. Which to our knowledge had not been used until that day. HOW could you be out? But I guess the yogurt parfait was not in the cards. I got a scrambler of sorts which was WAY too big and not all that tasty. Bob got bagel and lox which I think he enjoyed (even if he didn't know how to eat it- it was piled THIS high). He liked it. But didn't love it. And really, we deserve love here people.

So, in summary, it was an overpriced, under performing meal. We won't go back. And we'll tell all our friends to skip it. We're so mean.