Smoky Jon's

Smoky Jon's. You should visit the website before reading on. Go ahead, I'll wait.

Let's discuss . Number one, what is the first thing you see on the website? Two movies with still shots of an unreasonable amount of meat.  The meat is not arranged in a particularly attractive way. This is Smoky Jon's way of warning you, like a meat scarecrow. If a restaurant with an alter to meat on its front page doesn't appeal to you, then it's probably best you and Smoky Jon's go your separate ways right now.

Okay, you're still reading. Well done, brave meat soldier, you are in for a treat. I know your type. You know Smoky Jon's wants you to be worth of its meat, that Smoky Jon's won't pander to those who care about "how the meat is presented." Instead of focusing on the counting how many slaughtered animals are in these videos, you slow trip towards full meat frenzy. Your mouth has started watering. You can smell the meat and you know how the pork will be soft and juicy after sitting all day in the smoker. Read on, meat-adventurer. You are among friends.

During our carnivorous journey, we sampled a pork shoulder sandwich and a marinated tenderloin steak sandwich. Both came with Smoky Jon's sweet BBQ sauce on the side. This is a test. The BBQ sauce is not optional, though it is on the side. DO NOT EAT THE SANDWICH WITHOUT THE SAUCE. I cannot stress this enough. In fact, to eliminate any misunderstanding, here are the simple steps to optimize your enjoyment of that sandwich:

1. Take the top of the sandwich off
2. Smother all of the sandwich with the BBQ sauce that comes with the sandwich
3. Put the top back on
4. Pick up the sandwich to eat it.
5. DO NOT PUT THE SANDWICH DOWN UNTIL YOU ARE FINISHED. DO NOT STOP TO WIPE ANY OF THE DRIPPED SAUCE OFF ANYTHING.
6. After you are finished with the sandwich, take a shower.

All the sandwiches look good and come with sides. The sides are not as good. We had applesauce (bland and weird consistency), fried biscuits with powdered sugar (okay, not worth the angioplasty I'll have to get), spicy corn (actually, this was quite good), and french fries (they were good, but if you can't make good french fries, you should not cook food). But you didn't come here for the corn. You came for the meat. And you have left satisfied. Perhaps we shall meat again.*

*Don't you roll your eyes at me.